tomorrow will be the first day of my life.

in accordance;
i think it's best it begun without my being here.
i know i sound like the biggest neurotic dickhead around, but contrary to whatever i may tell myself; whoring myself over the internet doesn't improve my work nor exactly enhance my quality of life.
actually, it prevents me from having a life at all.
i know it seems indecent and wholly uncalled for, but i just feel as though anything i do these days is not a true representation of my thoughts, but merely something stripped down and remodeled, for other peoples minds to judge.
everything's always shrouded with uncertainty, with inadequacy.
i dislike much of what i do, and i honestly think its because i'm doing it for someone other than me.
so on that note;
i will go now, for good this time.
but this isn't the end of me,
not entirely.
much love,
& thankyou

b